In the past five or six months since I started working with (& teaching & learning with) students, I have noticed a greater capacity in me to recognize the immaturities, weaknesses, and insecurities in myself, not just as a teacher, but as a person living in the floating world. Today I feel inspired to share some of these weaknesses with you, my dear readers, because (a) I had a bad day and I need to vent (b) I have been working on my anime curriculum so much that I haven't posted in many days, and more importantly: (c) I hope you will find my analyses useful.
What Not To Do When You Have a Class Full of High School Students After School:
1. Gripe to Them about How Little Your Agency Pays You & Make Them Feel Bad about It. Yes it sucks big butt that you don't get compensated for all the work that you do outside of the classroom and outside of the alotted time in your workweek and that your co-workers expect you to suck it up because "everyone else does" instead of organizing for better working conditions since workers in the non-profit industrial complex have or are about to get advanced degrees, which in their eyes sets us apart from Working People. But the students have nothing to do with that.
Today I let my frustration spill out into the classroom, instead of directing it constructively towards the people who can actually do something about our work conditions. When my students started fighting with each other I said something like "I don't get paid to watch you guys fight with each other." I was trying to make the point that I would be willing to help moderate a discussion, but not a fight, but this was Not Constructive and shut the class down.
2. Resent Them for Not Getting It. Today I tried to introduce an Asian American Woman poet to the class, for the sake of diversity, but I had not thought deeply enough about how the experience of being from an Asian American family divided by geography and generation would be foreign for some of the students. (Actually this was the ulterior reason for the Fight - see above. If I had been more on my feet and more perceptive, I would have realized this and turned it into a teachable moment.) Some of my students complained that they did not unsderstand and therefore hated the poem, especially since it did not rhyme. I got angry. Then I got angry at myself for getting angry. But the students could only be expected to sense my anger, especially since I didn't elucidate. I suck.
3. Make Some Kind of Lazy Excuse for Why You Are a Bad Discussion Leader like: "You don't like this poem huh? I guess I really like this poem because I'm Asian and I know what it's like to yearn for a family separated geographically by immigration." Wow. That's ridiculous. Obviously the discussion leader or teacher should help students to learn something new. Clearly the best way to do this is by meeting your students where they are at, instead of using abstract (and problematic) concepts to distance yourself from them.
4. Forget to Affirm What Is Great in Them. We are organizing a Photo-Essay Contest in which the students will take five or more photographs that tell a story, with no people as subjects. Many students took issue with the rule that they couldn't shoot random people on the streets in Chinatown, which started up a lively discussion about the ethics of photography. One of my students said that she wanted to document her travels in her neighborhood in the Bronx, but instead of supporting her brilliant ideas I criticized her plans to take pictures of train stations full of people. (In the end we decided that people who got in the way of the camera lens were OK.) I think part of me was distracted by my resentment of this project, which I accepted reluctantly after my supervisor encouraged me to try it with the students. I was thinking about how underqualified I was to be leading this project, instead of being present with my students and encouraging their creative process.
Yes, I managed to commit all four errors in a single class today, which is irksome to say the least. I did have fun though, because my students tell some amazing stories about their lives. I hope to be the kind of adviser/mentor/teacher/facilitator who will help them to realize how amazing they are, instead of being another teacher who just gets in the way.
What Not To Do When You Have a Class Full of High School Students After School:
1. Gripe to Them about How Little Your Agency Pays You & Make Them Feel Bad about It. Yes it sucks big butt that you don't get compensated for all the work that you do outside of the classroom and outside of the alotted time in your workweek and that your co-workers expect you to suck it up because "everyone else does" instead of organizing for better working conditions since workers in the non-profit industrial complex have or are about to get advanced degrees, which in their eyes sets us apart from Working People. But the students have nothing to do with that.
Today I let my frustration spill out into the classroom, instead of directing it constructively towards the people who can actually do something about our work conditions. When my students started fighting with each other I said something like "I don't get paid to watch you guys fight with each other." I was trying to make the point that I would be willing to help moderate a discussion, but not a fight, but this was Not Constructive and shut the class down.
2. Resent Them for Not Getting It. Today I tried to introduce an Asian American Woman poet to the class, for the sake of diversity, but I had not thought deeply enough about how the experience of being from an Asian American family divided by geography and generation would be foreign for some of the students. (Actually this was the ulterior reason for the Fight - see above. If I had been more on my feet and more perceptive, I would have realized this and turned it into a teachable moment.) Some of my students complained that they did not unsderstand and therefore hated the poem, especially since it did not rhyme. I got angry. Then I got angry at myself for getting angry. But the students could only be expected to sense my anger, especially since I didn't elucidate. I suck.
3. Make Some Kind of Lazy Excuse for Why You Are a Bad Discussion Leader like: "You don't like this poem huh? I guess I really like this poem because I'm Asian and I know what it's like to yearn for a family separated geographically by immigration." Wow. That's ridiculous. Obviously the discussion leader or teacher should help students to learn something new. Clearly the best way to do this is by meeting your students where they are at, instead of using abstract (and problematic) concepts to distance yourself from them.
4. Forget to Affirm What Is Great in Them. We are organizing a Photo-Essay Contest in which the students will take five or more photographs that tell a story, with no people as subjects. Many students took issue with the rule that they couldn't shoot random people on the streets in Chinatown, which started up a lively discussion about the ethics of photography. One of my students said that she wanted to document her travels in her neighborhood in the Bronx, but instead of supporting her brilliant ideas I criticized her plans to take pictures of train stations full of people. (In the end we decided that people who got in the way of the camera lens were OK.) I think part of me was distracted by my resentment of this project, which I accepted reluctantly after my supervisor encouraged me to try it with the students. I was thinking about how underqualified I was to be leading this project, instead of being present with my students and encouraging their creative process.
Yes, I managed to commit all four errors in a single class today, which is irksome to say the least. I did have fun though, because my students tell some amazing stories about their lives. I hope to be the kind of adviser/mentor/teacher/facilitator who will help them to realize how amazing they are, instead of being another teacher who just gets in the way.
Comments
but it was so demoralizing the other day. i was at roger williams middle school for a play that our hs youth directed for the middle schoolers. it was for this assembly the school was having to celebrate culture, history, where people come from, etc. and at assembly, the teacher who put together the whole thing, introduced the assembly. one of the FIRST things she said was, "I don't have to do this. We don't have to put work into this and i worked really hard. The students who worked on their performances also put a lot of work into this. So be respectful! Don't make so much noise" blah blah blah.
Anyway, i understand that people should respect the work, but the way she said that she didnt need to do it. ugh. painful to see.
thinking of u. miss u.