speach tree

i recently learned that one of my colleagues, XK, was a farmer in F__ province in China, quit after elementary school was a favorite with his boss and hates to read. he has one of the most assertive and clear speech of anyone i've met, and he has also helped to clear the air of a lot of bad energy with his presence. i'm going to try being more like him, more 前向き and more daring in the coming months...

april: this is the month when hate blooms staining my gut but it is also the month of wisteria. april (08): I imagine the pink and white buds bursting out of trees this month as the knuckles on my flailing fists. I am furious. I bleed longer and more. I eat red things. I eat dark black and purple things. the teeth in my mouth sharpen around harsh words and hot thoughts that emerge as air. I hurt us because I hate us. this is the month I yearn to stab a blossoming tree into a white shirt. this abuse doesn’t hurt me more than it hurts you. the ovaries churn. the entrails heave. I am a rage that will leave me exhausted and spent, repentant, by may.

Wow! Creating those new blogs (I'm also working on a blog that's specifically for my students learning Japanese. It isn't ready yet so I won't announce it until it has more meat) really frees up speach tree to be more of a bloggy blog! I've been in a funk lately, and not the good kind of funk. April is a fighting month for me, probably starting with the extravagant fights I used to have with my mother as a teenager. In Providence, a lot of the hate crimes, the police brutality, the street harassment happened to us students of color around this time of the year, when the weather started warming up and people stopped bundling up so much. On my way home to VA on sunday, I got into a screaming match with the ladies who hawk tickets for the chinatown bus - 2000coach to be exact - after they forced me out of the bus and shut the door in my face. I'll spare you the gruesome details but I felt both ashamed for the ugly display and also strangely invigorated by the fight...